Yesterday my baby girl turned 5. I don't know if I can explain how this makes me feel. I am so extremely happy for her because she wants to go to school and learn. I am so sad for me because when I look at her I feel like I have missed so much of her life and she should still be little and cuddly. I don't want her to grow up and learn things that make her sad or have some little girl in her class be mean to her. I hope she has lots of friends and is never shy. I hope she never feels inadequate or unappreciated. I hope she is never scared or hurt. I know I can not protect her completely though I would really like to. Anyway I had a really hard time planning a birthday for her because of these emotions I have had but we had a great day. Jacob baked 2 cakes for her the night before and I got up early so that Mirra and I could decorate them.







